One Simple Way to Get Everyone to Like You

I’m sure there may have been times in your life where someone disliked you, and you weren’t sure why. You may have come to the conclusion that it’s different strokes for different folks. That not everyone is going to like you. But this may be happening to you more than it ought to. Or, it could not be that people don’t dislike you, but they’re very indifferent towards you. Well, I have some news for you, you can change this. You can get a lot more people to like you by following this one simple rule.

 

The rule is: If you want people to like you, you have to make them feel good, and if you make them feel bad, they will dislike you. Now, after hearing it, this rule may seem obvious. Some of that may be hindsight bias, but in general it is. What’s not obvious is the proper way to put this rule in place. Well, there are 3 mistakes that people tend to make that get in the way, and that’s what I’m going to warn you about today.

 

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The first mistake people tend to make is making everything about themselves. Everyone likes to talk about themselves, so when you take this away from people, it makes them feel bad. For example, people often about rough times or their achievements. You may follow up by talking about something worse you went through. Or, you could reply with something better you’ve achieved. That’s fine, just know that person probably likes you a little less. The fix for this varies from situation to situation. In general, you can overcome this by talking about other people before switching the topic to yourself.

 

The second mistake people tend to make is bad body language. You may often find yourself well invested in a conversation. But, your body language could be telling the other person that you’re not interested. A common example of this is  RBF or Resting B*tch Face. This is when you have glazed eyes and a subtle frown when your face is resting. You can overcome this  by opening your eyes a little bit and having a slight smile in conversation. People sometimes uninterested body language. It makes the speaker wonder if they should continue talking or if the listener is even paying attention. Start improving your body language by leaning forward with open body language.

 

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The last mistake on the list is being too negative. Do you tend to complain when something is wrong? You might want to stop that. You see, when you are being negative, others around you pick up on that energy. That means that you are making them feel bad. In general, the longer that people feel bad around you, the more they associate you with negative feelings. That means that they like you less. There is a time and place for negative stories, but, when you meet someone, you have to be careful in telling them. That is because those types of stories makes them feel negative emotion.

 

If you don’t make any of these 3 mistakes, then people will end up liking you a lot more often. When people like you, a lot of opportunities open up for you. Life will be better, and this is a great improvement to make. Keeping this in mind, you should remember that there’s no way to force everyone to like you. There will always be people that dislike you regardless of what you do, so don’t waste your time trying.

6 Psychological Tricks to Motivate Yourself to do ANYTHING

You want to do anything you set your mind to? Some people think you’re either born motivated or lazy. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s not true. In fact, biology only plays a role in about 30% of how motivated you are, and the rest is psychological. Today, I’m going to give you 6 psychological tricks to help you become more motivated.

 

1. Think about goals more long-term and general.

So, you want to be able to do anything you set your mind to. Well, you’re going to have to start thinking more long-term when it comes to setting goals. This is contrary to a lot of advice you may get but hear me out. When I say long-term, I mean start asking yourself WHY you’re aiming for something. Studies have shown that if you think about goals in why’s then you will have more willpower.

Most of us think in how’s, how am I going to do this or that? Well, that’s great and all, but that’s short-term thinking. When we ingrain our reasons into the action of doing a task, it becomes much easier to get motivated for.

 

2. Breaking down big goals into small ones

Everybody has dreams and goals. What differs people who achieve them and those who don’t is having a plan. Reaching goals is akin to climbing a giant staircase. Most people look at the whole staircase and feel overwhelmed. I advocate a different approach. Try climbing the staircase one step at a time. Finish a step, then look at the next step, then the next. Your willpower has to potential to be unlimited. However, if you only look at the large picture, your brain might assume you can’t do such a big task, and only give you a little bit of willpower.

This means we’re going to break our goals into chunks. One popular method to use is SMART goals. SMART is short for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. We should make sure our chunks have these traits when creating them. Without SMART goals, breaking goals into smaller steps still gives us more willpower. Once you do, you can achieve anything you wish in life.

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3. Believe that you have tons of willpower

The power of belief is amazing. To increase your willpower, the next thing you have to do is change how you see willpower. A simple change of the mindset can open up a whole new world of possibilities. You create your own reality. Everything you experience is through your perception. Once you change your perception to align with completing your goals, then your motivation will rise to the occasion. For example, if you believe you have unlimited willpower, you will have more than someone who doesn’t.

Let’s look at the truth of the matter: our potential willpower far exceeds the amount that we use throughout the day. Your brain just likes to put a limit on how much you use. By learning about willpower, you can actually tap into more of your reserves.

 

4. Reward yourself

Rewards feel great to receive. Using a psychological method called Classical Conditioning, you can change any behavior. Add or remove either reinforcement or punishment to accomplish this. There are three factors when it comes to the effectiveness of these methods. They are magnitude, immediacy, and desire of the learner. After performing a desired behavior, maximize these factors when implementing a reward.

For example, if you want to get yourself to read a textbook, try eating a gummy-bear after each page. Also, try to keep telling yourself you want to study. In this example, immediacy, desire of learner, and magnitude are all implemented. Therefore, it is an effective way to condition yourself to study more.

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5. Believe that you can accomplish your goals

The more confident you are that you can achieve a goal, the less willpower it takes to complete. Let’s say I ask you if you could write a book. In all likelyhood, you’d say no. Now, what if I asked you to write a paragraph? How about a page? Pay attention to the small accomplishments. That will increase your confidence in completing that task, and you will start believing that you can actually do it.

A good method to increase confidence is to track your growth. The more you see yourself grow, the less willpower it will take to go back to whatever you’re doing.

 

6. Change identity. Don’t identify with the bad habit

Identifying with an issue is detrimental to your performance. Conversely, identifying in alignment with your goals will decrease the amount of willpower they take. The question is, how do we identify with our goals?

Well, we need to be careful with how we use our language. As an example, you are not lazy, you are being lazy. You are not unmotivated, you are acting unmotivated at that time. Also, it’s good to use the phrase “I want to” when talking about our goals. Saying “I want to” is good because in doing so you are identifying with the new identity you want to have.

8 Must Know Tactics for Self Improvement

1. Gratitude

You likely have an automatic thank-you response when someone does something for you. How often do you actually feel gratitude towards that person? Practicing daily gratitude is a must when it comes to satisfaction and happiness. There have been many studies about gratitude. Those studies suggest that people who practice gratitude feel several benefits. They are: less negative emotion, feeling better, better sleep, and better self-esteem.

It’s likely something good happens to you at least once a day. Next time it happens, try feeling thankful for it. When nothing good happens, be thankful that nothing bad is happening. If something bad happens, be grateful it’s not worse. An exercise with a little more structure I recommend is writing in gratitude journal. You can download an app or write down one or two things on paper that you are grateful for every day. Remember that the key is to try to actually feel gratitude, not to do or say grateful things.

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2. Self-Discipline

This next thing is something I don’t see people talking about very often. Yet, it is one of the most crucial things when it comes to self-improvement. Everybody has had moments where they wanted to do something, but didn’t have the will to do it. When motivation fails, you need to have self-discipline to back it up. People high in self-discipline make better decisions for themselves faster and easier.

There are a few things you can do to improve self-discipline. You should know your weaknesses, remove temptations, and then make a clear-cut plan of action. When you have a clear vision of what your goals are, you know exactly when you are straying away from them. You also need to change your mindset and understand that will power is a muscle. It is a skill that you can hone and not something you’re either born with or without.

3. Organization

If you’re like most people, you stand to benefit by being more organized in your life. You can start by organizing your house, and once you do so, it won’t take much upkeep to maintain. It also will make everything very easy to find and when you bring other people over it will be very pleasant to look at. Organization isn’t just about spaces though, it’s also about keeping track of things that you have going on. I recommend keeping a calendar or planner and fill it with all your deadlines and events, along with anything you have to do to prepare for them. This can greatly contribute to success at work or school, and will make you a much more reliable person.

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4. Mindfulness

Next up on our list, we should know that being mindful is a useful goal to have. Mindfulness is a mental state. You can achieve it by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment. At the same time, acknowledge and accept your feelings, thoughts, and sensations. It results in a change in your thought processes and changing your perception for the better. Doing so shifts your awareness to where you are, what you’re doing, and how you’re feeling. In turn, you will think less about whatever is causing you anxiety.

Studies have shown several benefits to mindfulness. It reduces stress and depression while improving health, among many other things. To be more mindful, take some time to feel into sensations during daily life. For example: feel your breath, feel the texture of what you’re holding, focus on the taste and smell of food. You could notice the sounds around you without focusing on any particular one. For the dedicated, you can take 15 – 20 minutes out of the day to sit and focus on sensations. While doing so, if your thoughts wander, bring them back to the sensations.

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5. Assertiveness

This next one I’ve been working on a lot recently. It’s known as assertiveness. In life, you need to speak up to make sure people meet your needs. As the saying goes “closed mouths don’t get fed”. Increasing assertiveness will impact your life in many positive ways. If you’re assertive in relationships, you’re much more likely to have your needs met. That’s due to your friends, family, and others knowing your needs are now important. Co-workers will have to respect you because they know where your boundaries are. You may even get a raise after you let your boss know in a solid but polite way.

It helps to have self-worth when being assertive because then you will feel as if you deserve to have your needs met. To raise self worth you should find things you like about yourself and learn to love them. Along with the love for yourself, increase the amount that you voice your opinions and needs. It can be difficult but take small steps and you will make great progress over time.

6. Overcoming fears

Up next is something that everyone can improve on. I know it’s easier said than done but we could all benefit from overcoming fears. If you think that a fear is holding you back then you should at least try to get past it. In order to get over a fear, you should start by being aware that you have a fear to begin with. Next, identify exactly what about that is scary to you. After you’ve done all that, one very consistent way to get over that fear is to face it.

Using systematic desensitization is an effective method to do so. Start by facing the fear in a small way, maybe just one aspect of it. After, you let the anxiety disappear and repeat. Then overtime you slowly increase the amount that you face the fear until you eventually become desensitized to it. For example, if your afraid of heights, try entering a tall building, and look out the window from each floor. Start at the ground floor and increase only when you feel comfortable looking down. Fears can stunt your growth in many ways, so it is very important to surpass any that could be holding you back from what you want to do.

7. Books

Books give you new perspectives and ideas that you can apply to your life. The stories in books will show you the author’s perspective. That will in turn give you the perspective to make better decisions in life. If you aren’t reading a lot you won’t get very far, especially when it comes to self-improvement. While articles are good for information, books go into full detail and delve into the mind of the author. Experts say that you can become more knowledgeable than 90% of your field by reading 4 books about the topic. For me, reading books has had a profound impact on my life, and they continue to change my life for the better to this day. This is why I recommend reading more books, for they always add value to your life.

 

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8. Courses

The last thing that I recommend to you is taking courses. I’ve taken quite a few online courses in my life. Once I finish, I’m more knowledgeable about whatever I was learning about. One site that I’ve found very useful is SkillShare. I currently use their site, and whenever I need to find out more info about something it’s the first place I go. If you aren’t willing to spend money, there are even free YouTube courses you can take. The only caveat is that you get what you pay for. Courses provide a lot of value to your life for very little money. All it takes is a little self-discipline to stick with them and finish. A single course you take may serve you for the rest of your life, and that’s an amazing thing.